We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
