I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize