I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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