I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
