question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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