some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize