Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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