i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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