They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
