I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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