Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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