God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
