I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
