is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
