is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
