So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
