why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
