so let's talk penis.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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