dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
