There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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