I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
