Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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