What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Drunk is not a location!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
