But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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