My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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