it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
