He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
