what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
