My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
