the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
