i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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