You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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