Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
