Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I could make wine with my vomit
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
