who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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