No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
