you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's shark week go big or go home
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
