I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
