just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
