But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
