omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
