Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Duck Duck Cougar?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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