Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
