Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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