proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
This show inspires me to have sex in space
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
