In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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