this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
