The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
