Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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