I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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