HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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