halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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