I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
