I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
