Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I need a burrito and a hug.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
