I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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