Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
