Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
