It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
