He asked to "fluff my boner.."
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
